The next day...
Showing posts with label commute. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commute. Show all posts
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
But do you think it will stick?
Ok Cocas, I guess I finally learned my lesson. The collective you wonder outloud how I can sustain a life where I am always rushing from one thing to the next and am always just a little (kind of, ok sometimes ok very) late. Don't I get stressed out? Don't I miss stuff? Don't I have to pay extra for not paying attention? Don't I get tired of it all? The answer is yes, yes, yes and sorta. But for the most part I tend to get away with stuff: flights get delayed, my friends are racecar drivers, I get the first one for free, the lady at the counter falls for my puppy dog eyes, someone finds my wallet and sticks it in the mailbox, etc.
Anyway, I went to the airport today for my monthly pilgrimage to Irvine. Today's trip was a little special though - since I'd be going to Vail for the weekend, I had to bring my snowboard and all that delicious gear, which meant I'd have to check bags. After dragging my feet a little at home I finally leave, get into a taxi and get to the airport. The end timestamp on my receipt says 6:17; my flight is at 7:01. Relax, homies, I checked in at home. When I get to the kiosk it tells me to go to the counter where I have to wait in line after 5 other people. The lady who's in charge of telling people on the line which counter is available asks me what flight I'm on, and when I tell her the 7AM to LA, she gives me the shit-you're-ducked* saucer eyes.
meanDeltalady: Sorry but you're not going to make the 7AM flight, you have to check that and you had to be here an hour before.
me: Wha-!? Since when!? I thought I just had to be here 40 minutes in advance for check in.
meanDeltalady: Yeah, well now you only have 30 mins.
me: But I was here like, 20 minutes ago.
meanDeltalady: a) No you weren't and b) Doesn't matter. At JFK you need an hour.
me: But can't we just hurry? Like how about if we check it right now.
meanDeltalady: Yeah, no. It takes at least an hour to get this processed and through the system. You're way too late. We have an 8:10 flight we can put you on.
Argh!! Anyway, I go through this a couple of times with the counter lady too, but apparently she hates puppies and says that there's no way they're putting me on the 7AM flight - I came too late, too bad, it was my fault, I should shape up or ship out, end of story, take it or leave it. It takes me a moment to realize that they really are going to boot me off my 7AM flight, even though I've still got 20 minutes. So I go fine, I'll get on the 8:10 flight. And she goes "Ok that'll be an extra $50. Cash or credit?" Capital ARGH!!
At this point during these incidents, I always imagine that this going to be my "if only" situation. You know, "if only I had left the house 10 minutes earlier and gotten on the 7AM flight, because the 8:10AM flight turns out to be the one the terrorist is on, or the one that doesn't make it through the tornado watch which had been instituted just 1 hour before (which the 7AM flight just misses but the 8:10AM does not). (No joke there really is a tornado watch here in Irvine).
On top of paying an extra $50, I have to carry my heavy-ass snowboard bag myself all the way around to the odd-size baggage area (so...what does that conveyor belt behind you do, mean Delta lady?) AND I am now over 1.5 hours early for my flight. And if anyone knows me, they know what I hate more than almost missing a flight is waiting around at the airport for more than I absolutely have to. (20 minutes if not checking bags, apparently 1 hour now if checking.)
By the time I am on my flight I am exhausted. Lucky me though - I get a whole row to myself! I promptly lie down and am out shortly after takeoff...only to be woken up three hours later by a female voice saying "Ma'am, can you breathe? Can you hear me? Ma'am?" Dudes, no they weren't talking to me, but rather to the lady in the row right next to me, who apparently needed medical attention. Major drama ensues for the next 30 minutes while the flight attendants call for a doctor on the plane - they actually said on the PA system "Is there a doctor on the plane?" I'm not sure what was wrong with her, I couldn't really make out the conversation despite the fact that it was all happening 4 inches from my face, but there was a swarm of people around her so I couldn't really tell if she was vomiting, had turned blue or was passed out. In the end, the doctor said all her vital signs were ok and that she shouldn't be mixing anxiety and heart arrhythmia medication (note this, people).
Side note - the lady in question had just flown in from Cairo (of course at this point, my "if only" reflex kicks in until I chastize myself for being both ridiculous and racist) and the Doctor says she had just flown in from Tel Aviv, and was all, hey why are you flying so far away for a hospital, you should have just come to see me in Tel Aviv - so we had our own little U.N. moment right there.
After all this medical drama passes, I promptly fall asleep again until the lights go on and we get the announcement that we're starting The Descent (ROWR!!!). The Captain's all "Aaaah, folks, buckle up, there's a little turbulence, and we're not gonna have air service because I have asked all the flight attendants to stay seated" and for the next 30 min, the plane's all rocky and shakey. In retrospect, it really wasn't worse than other bad-turbulence flights I've had, but I knew we were flying straight into rain storms in LA and so that "if only" feeling once more sets in. And of course it doesn't help that the lady next to me starts having her anxiety issues. I felt bad for her...but at least she had her husband and kid there to comfort her. Me, I didn't even have my toilet-seat-shaped neck pillow to cling to.
When we land, people clap, and the captain gets on the PA and says "Well folks, aaaahhhh, if you thought it was bad back there, you should have seen it from up here." Great.
This story doesn't end here!! But it almost does.
So I'm now at LAX and need to get down to Irvine. So I flew into LAX because the fare was only $200, but of course this taxi ride will tack on an extra $120, and the whole checkin plus late shit added another $80 so now I'm up to $400...but believe it or not still cheaper than flying into John Wayne. (The airport, not the dude, perverts!)
It is raining RIDICULOUSLY in LA. RIDICULOUSLY. With wind and everything. As we're driving, if we're not hydroplaning, we're getting doused with huge curtains of water by the oncoming traffic (carpool lane!)
When I finally get to the office, I find out that there is a tornado watch and that some SUV had gotten flipped over in Huntington Beach ...pretty much right where we had driven by.
Would any of this have happened if I had gotten to the airport just a tad earlier? Probably. But I could have done without the out-$50- part of it. Anyway, what can I say. Just another day in the life of Artemis. If there isn't a little excitement then it's just plain boring.
*see previous post
Endnote: During the time I had to kill I walked around the shops and decided to buy one of those $15.99 duffel bags. When I got to the hotel I realized that it smells slightly moldy. Does this happen to anyone else???
Anyway, I went to the airport today for my monthly pilgrimage to Irvine. Today's trip was a little special though - since I'd be going to Vail for the weekend, I had to bring my snowboard and all that delicious gear, which meant I'd have to check bags. After dragging my feet a little at home I finally leave, get into a taxi and get to the airport. The end timestamp on my receipt says 6:17; my flight is at 7:01. Relax, homies, I checked in at home. When I get to the kiosk it tells me to go to the counter where I have to wait in line after 5 other people. The lady who's in charge of telling people on the line which counter is available asks me what flight I'm on, and when I tell her the 7AM to LA, she gives me the shit-you're-ducked* saucer eyes.
meanDeltalady: Sorry but you're not going to make the 7AM flight, you have to check that and you had to be here an hour before.
me: Wha-!? Since when!? I thought I just had to be here 40 minutes in advance for check in.
meanDeltalady: Yeah, well now you only have 30 mins.
me: But I was here like, 20 minutes ago.
meanDeltalady: a) No you weren't and b) Doesn't matter. At JFK you need an hour.
me: But can't we just hurry? Like how about if we check it right now.
meanDeltalady: Yeah, no. It takes at least an hour to get this processed and through the system. You're way too late. We have an 8:10 flight we can put you on.
Argh!! Anyway, I go through this a couple of times with the counter lady too, but apparently she hates puppies and says that there's no way they're putting me on the 7AM flight - I came too late, too bad, it was my fault, I should shape up or ship out, end of story, take it or leave it. It takes me a moment to realize that they really are going to boot me off my 7AM flight, even though I've still got 20 minutes. So I go fine, I'll get on the 8:10 flight. And she goes "Ok that'll be an extra $50. Cash or credit?" Capital ARGH!!
At this point during these incidents, I always imagine that this going to be my "if only" situation. You know, "if only I had left the house 10 minutes earlier and gotten on the 7AM flight, because the 8:10AM flight turns out to be the one the terrorist is on, or the one that doesn't make it through the tornado watch which had been instituted just 1 hour before (which the 7AM flight just misses but the 8:10AM does not). (No joke there really is a tornado watch here in Irvine).
On top of paying an extra $50, I have to carry my heavy-ass snowboard bag myself all the way around to the odd-size baggage area (so...what does that conveyor belt behind you do, mean Delta lady?) AND I am now over 1.5 hours early for my flight. And if anyone knows me, they know what I hate more than almost missing a flight is waiting around at the airport for more than I absolutely have to. (20 minutes if not checking bags, apparently 1 hour now if checking.)
By the time I am on my flight I am exhausted. Lucky me though - I get a whole row to myself! I promptly lie down and am out shortly after takeoff...only to be woken up three hours later by a female voice saying "Ma'am, can you breathe? Can you hear me? Ma'am?" Dudes, no they weren't talking to me, but rather to the lady in the row right next to me, who apparently needed medical attention. Major drama ensues for the next 30 minutes while the flight attendants call for a doctor on the plane - they actually said on the PA system "Is there a doctor on the plane?" I'm not sure what was wrong with her, I couldn't really make out the conversation despite the fact that it was all happening 4 inches from my face, but there was a swarm of people around her so I couldn't really tell if she was vomiting, had turned blue or was passed out. In the end, the doctor said all her vital signs were ok and that she shouldn't be mixing anxiety and heart arrhythmia medication (note this, people).
Side note - the lady in question had just flown in from Cairo (of course at this point, my "if only" reflex kicks in until I chastize myself for being both ridiculous and racist) and the Doctor says she had just flown in from Tel Aviv, and was all, hey why are you flying so far away for a hospital, you should have just come to see me in Tel Aviv - so we had our own little U.N. moment right there.
After all this medical drama passes, I promptly fall asleep again until the lights go on and we get the announcement that we're starting The Descent (ROWR!!!). The Captain's all "Aaaah, folks, buckle up, there's a little turbulence, and we're not gonna have air service because I have asked all the flight attendants to stay seated" and for the next 30 min, the plane's all rocky and shakey. In retrospect, it really wasn't worse than other bad-turbulence flights I've had, but I knew we were flying straight into rain storms in LA and so that "if only" feeling once more sets in. And of course it doesn't help that the lady next to me starts having her anxiety issues. I felt bad for her...but at least she had her husband and kid there to comfort her. Me, I didn't even have my toilet-seat-shaped neck pillow to cling to.
When we land, people clap, and the captain gets on the PA and says "Well folks, aaaahhhh, if you thought it was bad back there, you should have seen it from up here." Great.
This story doesn't end here!! But it almost does.
So I'm now at LAX and need to get down to Irvine. So I flew into LAX because the fare was only $200, but of course this taxi ride will tack on an extra $120, and the whole checkin plus late shit added another $80 so now I'm up to $400...but believe it or not still cheaper than flying into John Wayne. (The airport, not the dude, perverts!)
It is raining RIDICULOUSLY in LA. RIDICULOUSLY. With wind and everything. As we're driving, if we're not hydroplaning, we're getting doused with huge curtains of water by the oncoming traffic (carpool lane!)
When I finally get to the office, I find out that there is a tornado watch and that some SUV had gotten flipped over in Huntington Beach ...pretty much right where we had driven by.
Would any of this have happened if I had gotten to the airport just a tad earlier? Probably. But I could have done without the out-$50- part of it. Anyway, what can I say. Just another day in the life of Artemis. If there isn't a little excitement then it's just plain boring.
*see previous post
Endnote: During the time I had to kill I walked around the shops and decided to buy one of those $15.99 duffel bags. When I got to the hotel I realized that it smells slightly moldy. Does this happen to anyone else???
Monday, August 3, 2009
I'll take children over impending death any day
Remember that time when I asked for some turbulence in order to get the kids in my section to settle down? Oh, may I never be so scornful again. The next children on a plane I see will be angels to me. My last flight to Cali rendered me fearing for my life and wondering what bad thing I had recently done to deserve this. True, I had secretly chuckled when an annoying lady dropped her snow white ball of yarn on the subway and it rolled across the floor, but good heavens did that really deserve 6 solid hours of pressurized torture? I was pissed off at myself for not having deposited my expense reimbursement check before my flight because now it would surely burn up in the flames of the crash. I found myself wondering if my company would be cool enough and reissue the check for my parents – I’d hate for them to think I had perished with not a penny to my name. Yes, I have my priorities.
Basically, from the minute we finished our already rocky climb to the minute we touched almost bankrupt California soil, we had on and off turbulence every 20-30 minutes. Several points throughout the flight I looked at the map hoping we would be landing soon, only to find that we were still over Michigan. Curses! Each time the plane would rumble and tumble and shake, I was desperate for the pilot to get on the PA to make some sort of comforting announcement along the lines of “Folks, it’s going to be bumpy for probably the rest of this flight, but you’re not going to die. Because, I, am Captain Sully!” Instead, right after checking the map only to find we were just over Utah (damn, two more hours!!), we heard this.
Ding.
“Aaaah, folks? Well, we didn’t have enough gas to get to San Francisco, but we had enough to get to Salt Lake, so we’ll be landing in Salt Lake to refuel. We hope you’re ok with that decision, but we just thought it would be better than losing our place in line at JFK to refuel, and then waiting another hour for takeoff. We figured we should just go ahead and get outta Dodge. So, aaaaah, yeah. We hope you’re ok with that.”
Wait, what??
Obviously we made it, but that was easily one of the top 5 worst flights of my life. All I have to say is, for my flight home…bring on the kids!
Basically, from the minute we finished our already rocky climb to the minute we touched almost bankrupt California soil, we had on and off turbulence every 20-30 minutes. Several points throughout the flight I looked at the map hoping we would be landing soon, only to find that we were still over Michigan. Curses! Each time the plane would rumble and tumble and shake, I was desperate for the pilot to get on the PA to make some sort of comforting announcement along the lines of “Folks, it’s going to be bumpy for probably the rest of this flight, but you’re not going to die. Because, I, am Captain Sully!” Instead, right after checking the map only to find we were just over Utah (damn, two more hours!!), we heard this.
Ding.
“Aaaah, folks? Well, we didn’t have enough gas to get to San Francisco, but we had enough to get to Salt Lake, so we’ll be landing in Salt Lake to refuel. We hope you’re ok with that decision, but we just thought it would be better than losing our place in line at JFK to refuel, and then waiting another hour for takeoff. We figured we should just go ahead and get outta Dodge. So, aaaaah, yeah. We hope you’re ok with that.”
Wait, what??
Obviously we made it, but that was easily one of the top 5 worst flights of my life. All I have to say is, for my flight home…bring on the kids!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Announcements a Captain should not make
Ding.
"Aaaaaah folks. Welcome aboard and thank you for your patience. This is your Captain. Well, it was a little bumpy coming into Vegas, and it may be a little bumpy getting out. Aaaaaah. Not due to turbulence, but it's very hot today, and the heat bounces off the tarmac and."
Silence.
Ding.
?! "...and.." what!? What!? What does the heat do?!
"Aaaaaah folks. Welcome aboard and thank you for your patience. This is your Captain. Well, it was a little bumpy coming into Vegas, and it may be a little bumpy getting out. Aaaaaah. Not due to turbulence, but it's very hot today, and the heat bounces off the tarmac and."
Silence.
Ding.
?! "...and.." what!? What!? What does the heat do?!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thoughts on commuting
irateguy: Hey, watch where you're going!
me: Why don't YOU watch where YOU'RE going???
irateguy: You're the one who's runnin' around all ova the place!
me: How do you know?
irateguy: I saw you!
me: So if you saw me, you saw that I wasn't watching where I was going.
irateguy: So?
me: So that means that you bumped into me on purpose!
irateguy: What?? I didn't bump inta you!
me: Well then who bumped into whom?
irateguy: Nobody bumped into nobody!
me: Ok then. So what's the problem???
irateguy: ...
me: I THOUGHT so.
Or what I will say, next time.
me: Why don't YOU watch where YOU'RE going???
irateguy: You're the one who's runnin' around all ova the place!
me: How do you know?
irateguy: I saw you!
me: So if you saw me, you saw that I wasn't watching where I was going.
irateguy: So?
me: So that means that you bumped into me on purpose!
irateguy: What?? I didn't bump inta you!
me: Well then who bumped into whom?
irateguy: Nobody bumped into nobody!
me: Ok then. So what's the problem???
irateguy: ...
me: I THOUGHT so.
Or what I will say, next time.
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