Things I suck at #2

Facebook.

It's hard. Every time I do it, it goes pretty much like this:

11:01PM Log on.

11:02PM Nothing new on my "wall" and no new messages. (nobody loves me)

11:03PM Check notifications. Everyone else is getting tagged, poked and hit by sheep. (everyone but me.)

11:04PM Write on Daisy's wall "Yo, wassssssssap?!?!?!?!111 :P :P :) ??!?!?!"

11:06PM Ooo. 3 people have sent me Green Peace Patch plants. I accept them all. Now I have $50,000 in Greenpeace dollars. I rock! (these are the same 3 people who invited me to Scramble, Scrabulous, and Your Sexy Friends. the last time I talked to these 3 people, the world was bullish on Amazon.com and people still used Walkmans)

11:07PM I want to get to $100,000 in Greenpeace dollars so I find 50 people to send this application to. (none of whom will add this.)

11:29PM Brad has sexyflirted with me. Chad has sexyflirted with me. Rob has sexyflirted with me. Who are you people!? I uninstall the Your Sexy Friends crapplication. (but not before checking out those profiles.)

11:30PM I throw kimchee at soccerlover99, and then check out his profile. Ooo. He has an I [heart] Taiwan application. I add it and send it to 17 of my friends. Surely they love Taiwan too! (no one will accept this)

11:57PM Someone I haven't spoken to since 2001 sends me a crappy gif of a golden lotus. I accept it and add the Good Karma application. And send it out to 20 friends that I haven't talked to in the last 5 years, including the ones who sent me the What kind of Mummy are you? application and the Find Your LOST Soulmate quiz. Finally I am beginning to learn! (still, no one will add this)

12:13PM I notice some blinking going on at the bottom of my screen. Someone's been imming me - it's Pierre from school! I haven't talked to him since graduation. But that was half an hour ago. He's since logged off. I guess I'll talk to him next time/never. I click into Pierre's profile. Wow, he's got two kids...Wasn't he single when we graduated? Time flies. Oh and now he lives in Seychelles and has his own cupcake cafe. Cool, I guess.

1:04AM I just spent the last 51 minutes testing my IQ. Must score higher than Angelina Jolie! Wait, I have to send this thing to 127 friends and take two sponsored surveys to get my score?? Grr... tis your lucky day, Angie. Your high IQ remains unbeaten for a few more days.

1:05AM soccerlover99 has these cute things called Eyesores. I want some! To get some I have to send some. I send carefully selected Eyesores to 14 of my closest friends who will surely think these are cute and will surely send me some back. (no one will accept them, and further, no one will send me any.)

1:34AM WTF?!?! Did I really just spent two and a half hours on Facebook!?

1:35AM I check my "wall." Still, no one has written on it. Sigh.

1:36AM I check my messages. Still, no one has sent me any. Sigh.

1:37AM I log out.

Poopyface has better luck at FB than I do.