Am I gross?

I'm snacking on 3 week old salami. Actually, that is a lie. It was three weeks old when I discovered it in my fridge and I actually discovered it before today. I won't say exactly when that was because then people will be able to calculate how old it is, and I'd really be embarrassed if anyone knew I was sitting here eating month old salami. It's so tasty though. What do they put in it to make it so tasty? Crack? According to the internet, salami can keep for a long time. I figure though that in my single Manhattanite fridge, it keeps longer because I really have nothing else in there aside from Mudslide mixer, half of a half gallon of pomegranate juice, and lots of little Cruzan rum samplers. Mmmmmmm. Those are really good too. I used to have cheese but I think I ate it all. Blegh. Ok I have officially had enough salami and so I'm going to put it away and save the rest for another day.