Captain, please turn on the seatbelt sign

I've never asked for this before, but OMG seriously. I need some turbulence, BIGTIME! I’m on a 6 hour flight to Cali and somehow I got stuck in the plane's romper room. How do people find this acceptable? There's a family of three toddlers back here and although they’re accompanied by three adults, they’re jumping around, screaming and running up and down the aisles. Where are the flight attendants? Wait you're in the back playing Sudoku and reading US Weekly? I didn't know I bought a ticket on Laissez Faire Airlines!! Since adults don’t feel like taking these mini demons under control, I am now praying to Buddha, God and Jesus and Baby Jesus Joseph and Mary Mother of God for some weather event to shake these kids into submission. (I know Guys, I'm usually asking you to stop the bumping and shaking.) C’mon, anything. Jostle us a little. Or a lot. Throw in some rumbling. Let’s even drop a few feet. Sound that DING. “……The Captain has just turned on the seatbelt sign. Please take your seats immediately and buckle in.” Anything? Anything? Nada? It’s all sunny and clear? Wow I can actually see canyons and mountain ranges. Beautiful. But those KIDS ARE STILL GOING CRAZY! Let me scare the guy next to me by reminding him of that recent flight that hit an air pocket and dropped so hard some lady cracked her skull on the ceiling of the cabin. It didn’t work. Hey buddy, check out this picture on the front of my paper that shows the DC Metro train crash. No dice. No, stop feeding them Coke. Argh!